Fear. For years, F.E.A.R. described my relationship with God. I became a follower of Christ at an early age, and I knew heaven as my eternal destination.
Yet, the issue of control existed between God and me. I trembled at the thought of His plan for my life, fearing He would send me to Africa as a missionary. Afraid to release my grip on my own destiny, I relentlessly wrestled with God. This paralyzing fear dominated my relationship with Him, and gave way to “spiritual panic attacks”.
As a university student, in a dormitory bathroom, the course of my life changed forever. One afternoon, exhausted from the battle, I knelt on the cold hard floor and prayed:
“God, I give up; I let go.”
“God, I give up; I let go. I am tired of being afraid of You and Your plan for my life. I release one tight finger at a time, the fist of control over my life. My palms are opened; here, I am offering my life out of my hands into Yours. I finally realize if You loved me enough to send Your Son to die on the cross to pay for my sins, then You love me enough to provide what is best for me. I will do anything You want me to do; I will go anywhere You want me to go, even if it means Africa as a missionary.”
With my utterance of Amen, I collapsed, weak with relief. Even before getting up off my knees from the tile floor in Hathorn Hall at Mississippi State University, heaven itself flooded my heart with peace. With the contrast so extreme, I desired never to return to my former way of life, that of a fear-based relationship with God.
So, these years later, when my fingers start to tense around anything (and they do) I sense a heart tug by the Holy Spirit reminding me—Hathorn Hall, the bathroom, the ultimate life contract. Reject fear. Let go. Release this situation into the loving hands of your heavenly Father.
Intimacy with Jesus depends on a commitment to withhold nothing from Him. Intimacy thrives within absolute trust. The following words penned in 1887 by John H. Sammis are entirely true; I know.
But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.
Living With Eternal Intentionality®
When did fear cloud your perspective of the true character of God?
How have you grown to realize that fear is a vicious tool of the enemy to keep you from experiencing all that your loving heavenly Father has for you?
