Our wondrous day filled with laughter and sunshine took a turn toward sour when a glitch in technology grabbed the upper hand and dragged my beloved and me unwittingly down the wrong road. Larry viewed life one way and I viewed it another. And of all the trivial things—our roadblock started with “Pass me the remote.” Now, our earlier hours of strolling outdoors hand in hand, gazing at signs of spring, and relishing the thought of ice cream at the end of the trail, seemed a lifetime ago.
Before we knew what was happening, he and I found ourselves in a quagmire of misunderstanding. After several failed attempts to navigate the swamp, we raised the white flag and went to separate rooms to pray.
Sitting alone with the Lord—while wanting to deny my part in the dilemma—I sheepishly asked the Holy Spirit to give us direction so that our we would be stronger than either you or me. Then, I asked Jesus to be The Gate opening for us a new path forward, according to John 10:9; it also seemed fitting to ask Him to lead us from the desert we created for ourselves to the Green Pastures He promised to provide. And … I asked Him to be speaking to Larry. (I was not sure how my last prayer would be answered.)
Upon reconvening, I was gobsmacked. Larry shook his head and shared, “I have no idea why this came to mind, but while I was praying for us, The Lord brought the most unusual thought to mind.”
“Go on,” I replied, a bit skeptical.
“Long ago, in First Aid training, we were taught the fastest, the safest action to take when your clothes catch on fire, Stop, Drop, and Roll: stop in your tracks, drop to the ground, roll to thoroughly put out the fire.”
He continued, “I think you and I should apply these same three simple words to any situation where we start to draw a line in the sand with our communication. Rather than insisting on being right, let’s do this: Stop pushing to get our own way. Drop to our knees and pray. Roll the matter over to The Lord.”
Stop, Drop, Roll
The First Aid training idea seemed brilliant, and we both marveled that God really did answer our individual prayers for restitution and resolution. Bringing God into the equation brought supernatural resources beyond our human capacity. And of all things, He used the First Aid instruction as practical advice.
After nearly 47 years of marriage, Larry and I still remain fiercely vigilant in protecting our communication, since there is an unequivocal connection between the quality of our communication and the quality of our relationship. This commitment requires both of us, it requires tenacity, and beyond all else, it requires God. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to take us from the world of remotes through The Gate to Green Pastures.
Living With Eternal Intentionality®
What is your most recent memory of God demonstrating His presence in your marriage?
Where are the potholes and pitfalls in your marriage communication?
What would be your best advice on communication for your newly married self?
