Guest Post by Floyd VanDeburgh
About a year after losing their adult son, Matthew, Floyd wrote the following poem.
My Unwanted Friend
He came pounding on my door one evening
I opened and he barged right in
I said,
Stop, you are not invited
He ignored me
pushing past
scattering his stuff everywhere
turning on lights
banging around the place
Loud, boisterous
refusing to be ignored
I said to Grief
You are not welcome here
I want you to leave
He only laughed
and said, I’m here to stay
And so he has been
He intruded obnoxiously
in everything at first
He got in the way every time I moved
He followed close everywhere
hovering over my shoulder
even with friends and loved ones near
always whispering in my ear,
Don’t forget I’m here
And during quiet
he was loudest
I always sensed him pestering and watching
And trying to sleep?
Those were the times that he was most annoying
refusing to be quiet
He got his wish with me
I weep in his presence
I nurse my regrets
I stoke my yearning
for the days before he showed up
I try to get him out of mind
I stick him in the spare bedroom
and tell him not to come out
He ignores me
bursting out the door at the most inappropriate times
I try to shove him back in
but my efforts fail
He refuses to cooperate
He’s here to stay
I’ve resigned myself to that
But he’s not as loud
or intruding as at first
Though he still demands my attention
he’s become like a routine passing train’s
noise you become used to
and sometimes forget is there
And strange as it seems
—it makes no sense to say it—
I’ve almost gotten to the point that
I want to call him Friend
Like other pains and struggles
he has taught me to loosen my grip
on all that I think everything should be here now
He’s made me realize it never will be
I’m resigned to the fact that he’s here to stay
But I’m not
because he’ll be left behind
when I move out of here
to another place
my true home
And then I’ll wave goodbye forever
to Grief my unwanted friend
and all my tears will be wiped away
Living With Eternal Intentionality®
“He has also set eternity in the hearts of men” (Ecclesiastes 3:20).
One reading of this poem is not adequate, is it?
When have you found yourself coming face to face with Grief?
What would you add to these aching realities that Floyd has so beautifully articulated?
Meet Floyd VanDeburgh. Floyd and his wife Sharon have been on a journey through life together for the last 45 years and give leadership to Strategic IMPACT International.
As he explains, “During those years we have lived in 5 states, served on college campuses, in churches, and in many countries of the world.
We've had ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and heartache, laughter and tears. We are partners in life and ministry, parenting, and grandparenting.
Most of all, we are followers of Jesus, growing to know Him and being transformed by Him more and more each day. We are grateful for many colleagues and friends who have been with us on our journey over the years. We invite you to come along to make a true difference in our world.”
You can read more of Floyd’s gifted writing at vandeburghjourney.com
