Choosing to See Beyond Your Grief

When I first read this message, I knew immediately that I wanted to share it with you. Jenny Rothschild Ministries granted me their permission. Originally, Jenny wrote the post as a devotional for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Later, she shared the content with her own readers. 

May this perspective encourage you greatly in our season of Thanksgiving. I welocme your feedback. 

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.” Ephesians 1:18 (NIV)

I remember when I heard the news. I was elated and squealed and cried! I hugged our kids, my husband, the dog and anyone else close enough to grab!

I asked my son and daughter-in-law a million questions. And then, hours later, alone in my bed, I processed the news … alone in the reality of fresh loss. The sadness closed in like the final curtain after a beautiful play. Elation was replaced by reality — a reality that brought feelings I never expected.

The reality is, I’m blind. I am about to become a grandma, and I won’t see my grandbaby’s eyes. I won’t know if he has Clayton’s nose or Caroline’s mouth. I won’t see his smile. I won’t see his tiny hands balled into fists as he toddles on chunky little legs taking his first steps. I was deflated. I wept. I asked God a million questions as I hugged my pillow.

Lord, I won’t be able to care for him or take him to the park or color with him or even play peek-a-boo.

Will he think of me as the grandma who isn’t fun? Will he feel safe with me? Will I be the grandma he’s unsure of until he’s old enough to understand?

As I tossed and turned and prayed and cried, I thought of how much I wanted to feel gratitude, not grief. Joy, like when I first heard the news … before sorrow clouded my vision.

I lost my sight at 15, but now at 53, becoming a grandma is forcing me to grieve blindness in new and unexpected ways.

Grief and gratefulness can share the same heartbeat, but they don’t always share the same viewpoint. I want to see beyond grief and fix my eyes only on gratefulness.

That’s why I need to see with my heart. And, sister, I have a strong feeling I’m not the only one. But we can’t unless God opens the eyes of our hearts, as our key verse says:

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people” (Ephesians 1:18).

When God opens the eyes of our hearts, we can see the hope to which we are called. We’re not called to despair or constant grief; we are called to hope.

God wants to open our spiritual eyes so we can see hope with our hearts. When we see with our hearts, we see blessing and potential tucked within loss and disappointment.

When we see with our hearts, we focus on what we have, not what we’ve lost. We view our situations, our whole lives, through the eyes of gratefulness. And grateful eyes will always see hope.

Seeing with our hearts doesn’t mean we won’t still hurt. It doesn’t mean we see everything through rose-colored filters. Grief is still real, and grief still hurts. But when we ask God to open our spiritual eyes, we see beyond the
loss.

I may not see little dimples and dancing brown eyes with my eyes, but I can feel wonder when I touch that satiny skin. I may not see that baby’s sweet face, but I can hear a thousand anthems of praise in his giggle. I can caress infant skin bearing the fingerprint of God and feel gratefulness and hope radiate through my grief. I can and will see that baby with my heart.

You may hold unexpected grief in your heart today. Maybe you carry a burden that makes you grateful or a gift that makes you cry. No matter what life looks like for you today, God can help you see it with the eyes of your heart.

I know He can, my sister, because that’s what He’s doing for me. When we see with our hearts, hope bursts on the horizon, no matter how cloudy or dark the day.

God is the one who opens eyes. He opens eyes of the blind and those who see perfectly but are blinded by disappointment, loss or grief.

So, if what you see discourages you, ask God to open the eyes of your heart and fix them on what is unseen. Because what is seen is temporary, and what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Dear Lord, focus my spiritual eyes so I can see Your hand, Your heart and Your purpose in all I experience. Let me see with my heart today and every day, so I can see hope. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (NIV)

RELATED RESOURCES:
Get a “See With My Heart” braille necklace for you or a friend as a reminder that God is good even if we can’t physically see His goodness right now. Click here for more information.

The negative thoughts that hold you don’t have to control you anymore! Jennifer Rothschild is partnering with us to help set women free of their negative self-talk and replace it with the powerful truth of God’s Word. You do not want to miss this life-changing study. Registration for the Me, Myself, and Lies Online Bible Study is now open! Learn more here.

CONNECT:
Order Me, Myself, & Lies or Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women between now and Sunday, May 8, and you’ll receive free bonus gifts. Plus, if you order both books, you’ll get a free audio book! Visit MeMyselfandLies.us to claim your gifts!

REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Consider how your perspective will change if you see with your heart. How can your day improve if you’re willingly blind to what bothers you and choose to see hope instead?

Choose one difficulty, loss or hard relationship to focus on today. Ask God to open your eyes to see it through His eyes. Then act according to His view rather than your own.

22 Ways to Have Your Best Thanksgiving Ever!

November is here. Welcome Back! Last year, responses came all the way from the Middle East to the Mississippi, from Baltimore to Baton Rouge. You enthusiastically shared the joy of learning Psalm 103. For that reason, I decided to offer here the Encore Post from 2016. If you previously memorized Psalm 103, I suggest you make this your annual Thanksgiving Psalm and meditate afresh on the 22 verses you already committed to memory.

If you are new, welcome to 22 Ways to Make This Your Best Thanksgiving Ever. Read on...

Make a list, make a plan, make ahead…
Make a mess, clean the mess, make sure… 
Extend the table, cover the table, decorate the table…
Race the clock, race back to the store; race to be ready to relax.

Right? 

Hold on; stop! No more. It is now November, and I want this to be your best Thanksgiving ever. But you need to begin early; you need to begin today.

Disclaimer—not all of my ideas are good ideas, they are just ideas. Yet this one is stellar, I promise. Long after the guests are gone and the melting ice cream is placed back into the freezer, you will thank me. 

The Suggestion: 
Memorize Psalm 103. 
Don’t panic. I am not adding one more thing to your to do list. Stay with me here. Easier than taking your turkey out of the oven, these benefits will outlast the leftovers.

The Context:
I deem Psalm 103 My Thanksgiving Psalm. Each November, I return to savor the soul nourishing words contained in these 22 verses. I look forward to this annual revisit more than I look forward to the sweet potato soufflé.

The Plan: 
In Psalm 103 a verse corresponds with each calendar day of November. By committing one verse per day to memory, you will finish on November 22nd, one day before the guests arrive on November 23, 2017. 

The Hack: 
You might ask, “How do I go about this?” Great question.
Rick Warren proposes a scripture memory method that actually works. 

Begin with the first verse. Emphasize the first word in the verse and then repeat all the words that follow. Follow by emphasizing the second word and recite all the words that follow. And so on. 
Repeat the one sentence over and over emphasizing a different word with each repetition, until you have completed the one verse. Surprisingly, the verse will now be yours, hidden in your heart.

Verse one would go like this:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. (continue with each word)

On November 2nd you proceed to committing verse 2 to memory. 

The Why: 
Hiding God’s Word in your heart infuses peace and perspective into your holiday celebration. You literally prepare a feast for your soul as you prepare a feast for your family. If you like this idea, embark on a new tradition. These 22 rich and delicious verses are waiting for you, served below.

Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The LORD works righteousness
    and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
    his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
    he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
    they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
    and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
    the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
    and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
    and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his bidding,
    who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
    you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
    everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, my soul.

Living With Eternal Intentionality™: How will this opportunity influence your holiday preparation?

The Woman Who Loved to Ride a Motorcycle

Lord, please give me back my verses. I prayed, please just give me back my verses.

I listened intently as the woman on the platform shared the shocking details of her head injury. The near-fatal accident occurred as she tried to create a play structure for her beloved grandchildren. The fall and its effect on her memory were serious, and in the hospital she pled with God to give her back the Scriptures she had so arduously learned over the course of her life.

Pregnant with our first child, I shifted uncomfortably in my stadium seat this humid June evening of 1975. Yet the elegant woman—standing on the podium and addressing the audience of thousands at the microphone—held my attention as if she and I were all alone in a conversation. Her love for God, her husband, and her family made me long for a personal conversation.

Though we would never meet face to face, she and I eventually became acquainted through her writings. The woman was Ruth Graham, wife of world renowned evangelist Billy Graham.

Recently, I read Ruth, A Portrait: The Story of Ruth Bell Graham by Patricia Cornwell, published in 1997 by Doubleday. The author's personal friendship with Ruth brings delightful familiarity to a woman the world only knows from a distance.

Interesting insights I gleaned from reading this biography:

•    Ruth was born on a missionary compound in China. Her father, a medical missionary, brought her into the world in the upstairs bedroom of their home.

•    As a child growing up, she loved pets.

•    At thirteen, this child suffered severe homesickness at boarding school fifteen hundred miles from her parents.

•    Ruth Bell believed, growing up, she would never marry and would give her life as missionary to Tibet.

•    At Wheaton College, the first time they met, Billy Graham said that he fell in love.

•    Once engaged, Ruth actually entertained second thoughts, and wrote her fiancé a crushing letter. Thankfully, they overcame the obstacles, and The Grahams were married after their senior year—he the Baptist, and she the Presbyterian.

•    Gracious and humorous, in their global ministry Ruth moved seamlessly between royalty, celebrities, and commoners. Sharing her faith was never an assignment, but a calling. Her genuine love for people flowed out of her Scripture-saturated love for God.

•    As a mother of five children—with Dad often away—the day began with reading Bible verses around the kitchen table.

•    Early morning hours, the only time to herself, were Ruth's for studying her Bible and meditating.

•    She was a devoted grandmother, and her grandchildren called her Tai Tai, Chinese for 'The Great One.'

•    Her writings, especially her poetry, pour from a soul deeply in love with God.

•    I never knew, before reading this volume, that Ruth Graham accompanied Billy on his visit to speak in communist Poland in 1978 . (I still recall the overflowing crowd in the downtown Warsaw venue, the cold corner where I stood hovered in the back of this ancient church, and the glaring eyes of the security police who monitored every move of every person in attendance. I remember wondering if there would be negative consequences from our choosing to attend. Thankfully, there were not.) 

•    George and Barbara Bush, Johnny and June Cash, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans were close friends of the Grahams.

•    Ruth Graham learned to ride a motorcycle.                           

I commend this book to you. 

 Living with Eternal Intentionality: What is a favorite biography you have read lately. Why did you enjoy it?